Flower Essences for New Mothers

Being a new mother (and father, but it’s less physical) presents all kinds of highs and lows ;).

Whether this is the 1^st child or the 4^th child, each pregnancy, birth and 4^th trimester is unique.  As a human and a mother you change and grow, so each experience is unique.  Each child comes in with their own personality and own unique challenges and gifts.

This dance provides a lot of opportunities for spiritual, mental, emotional and physical growth.    It is a joyous and sometimes daunting experience.

Flower essences are here to help you, your baby and the rest of the family.

The first essence I recommend is Crisis, Desert Emergency Formula (by Desert Alchemy).  This can be used topically on the baby’s anterior fontanel when nothing you do to soothe them seems to do the trick.  It can be used in the bath (I use 3-5 drops of stock or dosage level) and recommend parent and baby get in the tub together…soothe everyone.  You can put 1 drop of stock or 3 drops of dosage in your water and sip it, if you are the one falling apart.  If your pet is freaking out about the new addition, put 1 drop of stock essence in their water.

Another excellent essence is the New Mother Formula (by Desert Alchemy).  It soothes the physical stress of growing someone for 9 months and then birthing them in a relatively short period of time, as well as getting used to them feeding from you in a different way and more public way.

It supports you while you ask all the questions,

*How do I know the difference between a wet diaper cry and a hungry cry?  Do I believe in pacifiers, cloth diapers, etc?

*How do I negotiate for sleep, privacy, quiet time, bonding time (with baby, partner, older child, pet, etc), …so many things to shift and learn how to do in a new way.

*What does it mean that I can see all my ancestors faces parading before me in this new little face?

*How do I hold this new identity of being a mom to this beautiful little one and not lose myself?  *How do I negotiate breastfeeding and menstrual cramps or healing from perineal tears, etc ?

*How do I integrate the deeply intense spiritual experiences that I can’t explain?

* How do I feel confident doing this activity that is so new for me?

So many physical, mental, emotional and spiritual insights and shifts.

If you find worry fills your days, Red Chestnut (by Healing Herbs) is for overworry about others (after this first night of my first having strange breathing patterns, I found myself waking to check his breathing…very common for first time parents).  If thoughts about how to balance this new life with the old life, how to pay the bills, and other endless mental chatter is how you are processing, White Chestnut (by Healing Herbs) will be a boon for you.

If you are interested in exploring what your own optimal combination would be, I happily do remote sessions by phone or video, so you can attend to baby if needed during a session.  To schedule email penni@healingflowerenergies.com or call 650-218-5163.

Parenting and old trauma resurfacing

One curious bit about parenting is that when your child become the age that you were when you first experienced a trauma, your unresolved trauma surfaces.  It doesn’t feel like a gift, but it is.  When trauma resurfaces we can more easily work with it and move it out of our physical tissues ( we carry these traumas in our cells until they can be healed).

Because we are so connected both physically and energetically with our children, their joys are our joys and their sorrows are our sorrows.  The more sensitive and empathic you are you might even physically take this on.

What is surprising is when our old traumas resurface.  We are energetically tuned in to the age of our child and our inner child.  I have had so many clients (female and male) have old trauma resurface when their child becomes the age they first experienced the trauma.  This seems most impactful when the trauma was sexual abuse.   Not only are all your emotions coming to the surface…and sometimes you have suppressed that this trauma ever happened…but you are busy trying to protect your child from having a similar trauma.

There are essences here to support you.  If the trauma has been suppressed and you guess that something happened, but you are not sure, Bisbee Beehive Cactus from Desert Alchemy is so helpful.  This essence helps you to know what happened while healing the trauma quickly so it can be released.  Post Traumatic Stabilizer from FES and Star of Bethlehem from Bloesem Remedies are at the top of the list for healing.  Each person is unique so combinations are tailored for your highest possible good.

First time Breastfeeding? 3-6 Weeks Postpartum.

Cluster feeding begins to happen at this time.  Hang in there.  Use the rescue remedy cream to help with sore nipples and airdry your nipples as much as possible.  Also letting breastmilk dry on nipples is very healing (breastmilk is also great for pink eye and baby eczema…in some countries they store extra breastmilk to keep senior citizens healthy…you are creating great stuff!).

You have passed a milestone. Hooray! Your body has figured out the fluid level, the general timing of when and how much the baby wants to nurse.

You should no longer feel the engorgement/swelling and often this freaks moms out thinking “Maybe I don’t have enough milk”. You have enough milk, it’s just your body has adjusted.

How to check you have “enough” milk: Baby is filling about 10 diapers a day and baby is gaining weight.

If you have not already joined a breastfeeding support group or postpartum class now is the time! Nothing like hanging out with people having a similar experience to know that you are not crazy and all of this very new stuff is normal, maybe weird and wonderful, but normal.

First Time Breastfeeding? Newly Postpartum.

You want to place the baby to the breast within the 1^st hour if at all possible. This is when they are most awake and have the energy to learn how to suck. (just think of any energy it takes to learn something new.)

It usually take 3-5 days for your milk to come in. You do have colostrum (the stuff that was leaking out above). This is very high in sugar and babies only need 4-6 drops every 2 hours in order to keep their sugar levels normal. So don’t panic or worry that it isn’t enough. If your baby won’t suck, then squeeze out these drops on your finger and place the finger in their mouth. (If you want you can place the tip of the finger on the roof of their mouth to encourage the suck)

Nurse and nurse and nurse as much as the baby wants. The baby is programming your body to produce milk depending on demand.

When your milk does come in:

Your breasts are adjusting to all this new fluid and working on learning how to do fluid control. This means you can leak a lot, your breasts can become engorged and the let down can be intense for baby. All is normal and will eventually take care of itself…in the meantime:

• If you leak a lot: There are plastic shields to place in nursing bras that collect the milk. There are also pads, but I have found many women who use these pads end up with yeast (candida/thrush). If you suspect thrush or have a history of candida leave the flap s down on your nursing bra as often as you can so they can airdry. 
• If your breasts are engorged: This is temporary. Do not pump lots out. If you need to squeeze a few drops out to get nipple accessible to the baby, you can hand express.
• If this is not enough and you are not allergic to sulfa drugs you can place a raw cabbage leaf (white or green stains less) between your bra and breast and the heat of your breasts will wilt the cabbage and release the chemicals to bring the “swelling” down.

 

Cluster feeding!!! Your babe will go through stages of increasing your milk supply by nursing closer together. This does not mean you do not have enough milk. It means they are about to have a growth spurt. All good. If you find your nipples sensitive then put the rescue remedy cream on right after nursing. It will melt in and nipples will be happy and so will you and baby. No need to wipe it off before feeding again (note on packaging is FDA required because the original preparation has a tad of alcohol in it).

First Time Mother? What to Know Before the Birth.

First time breastfeeding?

Hello first time breastfeeder!

Here are some things to know ahead and then check back with at the appropriate times:

Your body prepares milk that is age appropriate to your baby…amazing! And it also prepares milk that prevents disease based on the baby’s backwash that goes into your milk ducts. (CLICK HERE for a relatively new finding by a scientist mom!).

Usually before giving birth (up to 4 weeks before) you may start leaking colostrum. This is a good thing and you know that your body is on track. At this point you can just put a tissue or cotton pads in your bra to not have a wet mark on your shirt/dress.

• Do wear a shirt braless to bed to allow your nipples to get used to not being protected all the time.
• DO NOT rough up the nipples with a washcloth.
• Rescue Remedy cream is great for preparing the nipples for breastfeeding….apply daily

The more you can trust that your body knows what it is doing (even if your mind doesn’t) the body responds by working with ease and grace.

• Getting sleep is crucial to keeping milk supply happy. Get creative about how to meet everyone in the family’s needs. Including yours!!
• Using one or more of these flower essences can help: The New Mother Formula, Crisis, Inner Mother, Milky Nipple Cactus (all from Desert Alchemy), 5 flower formula (from Healing Herbs).

Birth Process…How do I know?

Here is my advice and knowledge:

0-4 cms (some say 6 cms) is Prodromal Labor

• Timings of contractions are anywhere from 20 minutes apart to 5 minutes apart…and it can jump around
• Physical-uterus gets tight and there is tightness at top of uterus too when you have a contraction
• What to do-stay home as long as you can, learn how to ride the waves of the contractions, be prepared to go when you don’t have enough hot water to take showers to relax or when contractions are somewhere between 5-1-1 and 3-1-1 

4-7 cms

• Timings: contractions become regular, as if you can set a watch to it, generally 5 mins apart to start
• Physical Quality of contraction changes. Usually at about 4 cms you need to be focusing on breathing into contraction when it happens where before you didn’t have to. You may not be able to talk during a contraction due to focusing.
• What to do– begin thinking about how to gracefully transition into next location if there is one. Ie, going to the hospital or if birthing at home getting into the labor tub or ?? “Water” (amniotic fluid) can Break anytime (this is the fluid that the baby pees out. Sometimes before contractions start, sometimes after the baby is fully out. This can be a small rip and act like a leak or it can be the Hollywood gush like a broken pickle jar. If water breaks before labor starts then drink lots of water so the baby has fluid to relax in and contractions have some cushioning.

7-10 cms is transition

• Timings-usually about 3 mins apart going to closer together
• Physical-Quality of contractions change and getting into cat position can be quite helpful
• What to do-as the adrenaline kicks in remember that energy is what you will use to help the baby Trust your body and baby to know “what to do” DNA carries the information transition all the way through the birth canal

Baby travelling down canal

• Timings-contractions can often get longer apart
• Physical – Quality of contraction changes try different position and trust your body to tell you what is working
• What to do– Breathe, follow the body’s urges and remember that the baby is working as well to come out…it is not all up to mom. Baby can hear and know dad’s voice so dad can send encouraging words to baby. Nurse baby as soon as possible for best latch, best within 1 hour as they get sleepy from all the work they did to be born.

Ten Tips for Talking with your doctor about Vaccines by Aviva Romm, MD

TEN TIPS FOR TALKING WITH YOUR CHILD’S DOCTOR ABOUT VACCINATIONS by Aviva Romm, MD

The topic of immunizations can be emotional — and confusing — for parents and doctors caring for children. Many parents have heard horror stories about the dangers of vaccinations; many doctors have seen frightening consequences of illness in unvaccinated children. Mutual understanding is therefore essential.

While most doctors would prefer to vaccinate all children, many are increasingly sensitive to parents’ concerns about childhood vaccinations. Many doctors feel that it is better to provide some childhood vaccinations than none at all, and to keep parents coming to the doctor rather than having patients turn their back on medical care altogether.

In response to this, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), whose guidelines are followed by pediatricians and family doctors, has encouraged doctors to engage in a respectful conversation with parents concerned about immunizations rather than disregard their worries. Pediatricians are encouraged to listen carefully and respectfully to parents’ concerns, recognizing that parents may not use the same decision criteria as the physician and may weigh evidence differently than does the physician.

The AAP advises pediatric providers to help parents make the best possible decisions based on the child’s unique circumstances, working with the parents to create a vaccine schedule and choice of vaccines with which they can feel comfortable. While the AAP recommends the full, conventional vaccine schedule, according to AAP guidelines, children should not be penalized by loss of medical care based on their parents’ choices.

Here are 10 tips for easing the immunization conversation with your child’s doctor:

1. Interview pediatricians and family doctors (both care for kids from birth to adulthood!) BEFORE you have your baby to find a like-minded doctor for your child. If you already have a doctor but cannot come to a respectful agreement about vaccinations, it may be better to find another provider; it is important to have good quality communication with your child’s care provider.
2. Start with the premise that your doctor went into family medicine or pediatrics because s/he loves kids and genuinely has your child’s best interest in mind, even if your ideas of “what’s best” are different. Let your doctor know you believe s/he has your kiddo’s best interest in mind, that you have some questions and concerns about vaccines, and that you would like to understand the doctor’s perspective on vaccinations, and that you would like to share yours.
3. Set up an appointment solely to discuss vaccinations with your child’s doctor prior to when your child’s first immunizations would be given. This allows you and the doctor plenty of time to talk, rather than trying to squeeze your concerns into an already full well-child visit.
4. Explain to your child’s doctor that you want to have an effective partnership for the optimal care of your child.
5. Respectfully and calmly, rather than emotionally, let the doctor know that you would like to use an alternative model of vaccinations; whether delaying the start of vaccinations, stretching out the schedule, or omitting some of the vaccines.
6. Ask your child’s doctor what s/he knows about alternative immunization schedules and what alternatives s/he can recommend and support.
7. If you have specific concerns about 1-2, or several vaccinations, or about vaccination ingredients, such as preservatives, explain this clearly, stating that you would, in fact, like to give most of the vaccines, and also explaining which you’d like to omit.
8. Let the physician know that you are willing to document your decision to alternatively vaccinate or to refuse vaccinations by signing a waiver.
9. Ask your child’s doctor for information on what to look out for and what to do should your child be exposed to an infectious disease.
10. Welcome an on-going conversation about vaccinations with your child’s doctor, but respectfully ask that you not be pressured about your decisions at each visit.

 

Aviva has a book on vaccines as well as a thorough website http://avivaromm.com/ on creating and maintaining your families health.

Centered While Waiting

Parenting, it’s not all smiles and warm fuzzies. There is a lot of that, BUT a lot of parenting is trying to stay centered and embodied enough to know HOW and WHEN to respond to your little person’s life and decisions.  It’s easy to get off center and so its important to get to know what works for YOU to get back on center. Just like in meditation it is a process of being aware when you are off center and then knowing how to find center again.

In the case of birth we have a 5 week window from 37 weeks (early term labor) to 40 weeks (term labor) to 42 weeks (late term labor) in which we can expect the child to decide it is time to be born.  All we can really do is keep ourselves healthy, remember to breathe, take care of ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally while we wait to RESPOND to their actions.

This is great preparation for the rest of our parenting lives.  Once they are out we can SUPPORT them, but we can’t really make them do much…burping, farting, pooping, none of this happens on cue.  As they get older it becomes sometimes even more challenging to let them do their thing and then know how to support them in their process and stay centered in OUR OWN PROCESS.  Our children come as blank slates, but with a lot to teach us.  If we can stay centered then we can LEARN from them and SHARE in their joys and sorrows.